All about my Funny Valentine
by Fred and George Weasley Twins
Summary: Lisanna and Bixlow are spying on Elfman and Evergreen, again, and feelings between the two are blossoming; but what happens when they get caught? Bixanna, Elfever (Nalu and Gruvia mentioned) Rated for mild adult themes. Inspired by the songs 'All about us' by He is We and 'My Funny Valentine' by Ella Fitzgerald.


***Shrugs* Bixanna feels, I felt the need to write, no ones really posted that much Bixanna lately so…. *pops this right here***

_All about us_

"A table for two then, sir?"

"What? Oh, yeah, two." Billow muttered, his eyes searching for Elfman and Evergreen amongst all the waiters and customers. He grunted as a sharp stab was thrown to his left side.

"Bixlow, _honey_, aren't we going to _follow_ the waiter?" Lisanna hissed, violently dragging him forwards. Once the two were seated and had ordered drinks, they stood their menus up and ducked behind them to hide their faces.

"That hurt! Why'd ya have to elbow me?" The soul-possession mage growled, pouting at his friend.

"We didn't look very convincing! Can't you just keep your eyes to yourself for once, Bixlow?" Crossing her arms over her chest she stuck her nose in the air, a jealous scowl etched onto her face.

"Eyes to myself? I was looking for the lovebirds, not other girls! It may be a fake date but I pride myself in only taking one girl at a time." He grinned, his tongue lolling lazily from his lips.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, perv." She sighed heavily and glanced over the menu, a smirk came to her lips. Elfman was smiling and holding Ever's hand over the table whilst Ever was hiding behind her hair.

"Awww!" Lisanna cooed, electing her partner's attention. Said partner then raised an eyebrow, signalling for the smallest of the Strauss' to tell him what was so cute, "They're holding hands over the table and Ever's getting all flustered!"

Bixlow chuckled, his strangely long tongue curling with laughter, "I can't believe they're hiding that they're dating from everyone!"

"I know!" She giggled behind her hand, her eyes flickering to the prices on the menu, "And why they have to pick such fancy places to eat!"

"Well it's obviously because no one else is gonna eat here, isn't-,"

"Oh my _Mavis_!" Lisanna cut him off, her jaw had hit the table and her widened eyes glued to the front door.

"What?" He grumbled, feeling rather dejected that something else had been more important than him.

"Juvia and Gray just came in, and Gray _wasn't _dragged, he's … Oh my _Mavis_! He's pulling her seat out for her! _He just kissed her hand!_ Bixlow!"

"Calm down, 'Anna!" He whispered, quickly checking that no one had heard her squeals, "Jeez, you're so excitable!"

"But that must mean that they're willingly dating! _Willingly, _Bix! _Willingly_!" She whisper-shouted, now shaking him by the collar, eyes still fastened on the ice and water mages.

"So? I admit it's a surprise, but why are you so het up about it?" He picked up his glass, which had been generously placed on the table by a passing waiter, and took a sip from it; leaning back in his seat and cracking his neck, "They're not our main focus."

"Yeah, but it's our destiny to be match makers, Bix!" He raised an eyebrow questioningly, "Well, who was it that caught Natsu and Lucy coming out of the broom closet the other day, no 'best friends' that I know do that. And, I'd say they've been doing it for a while, Lucy's not that kinda girl. And now Gray and Juvia, not to mention Mira-Nii's stolen glances at Freed, these days!"

"'Anna… Don't you ever worry about you and your _own_ love life? You're turning into Mira…" He swallowed nervously, this was _not_ how he wanted to tell her.

"W-What do you mean? I… Well, I'm not all that interested in anyone right now…" She bit her lip nervously, this was _not_ how she wanted him to find out, "And the guy I like… I don't think he likes me back so… I'm just gonna leave it."

Before Bixlow could say anything else their waiter reappeared, "Any starters, Sir, Madam?"

"Umm…" Lisanna turned to Bixlow, signaling for him to order something. He grinned, he knew what she liked;

"Um, yeah, can we get the cheese and garlic platter, please?"

"Of course, Sir, are you ready to order anything else?" Bixlow again knew what Lisanna liked, so decided to choose for her.

"Yeah, I'll have the steak." The waiter nodded, jotting it down in his notepad before asking how he'd liked it cooked, "Rare, please."

"And for the Lady?"

"She'll have the poached salmon with the creamed green bean salad." Lisanna blinked blankly; did he just order for her? Something she actually liked?

"Very good, Sir, I shall be back shortly with your starters." He smiled politely at the two and turned to take another couples orders.

"Did… You just ordered for me…?" The only response he gave was an obnoxiously loud laugh and a flirtatious wink. They then spent the rest of their time laughing, talking, spying and eating. Then the lights in the restaurant began to dim and the waiters cleared a space in the middle of the room, a small orchestra began to play. Most of the couples stood up, including Elfman and Ever and Gray and Juvia, however both couples were far to engrossed in each other to notice anyone else around them.

"C'mon, Bix!" Lisanna dragged the unwilling soul-possession mage to the dance floor and began vivaciously spinning around.

"Lisanna...? Lisanna! _Lisanna!_" When he'd finally caught her attention, she noticed, that through his visor, the poor man was blushing. He pulled his arms from her grip and stepped back, "I... I can't dance..."

Her shocked expression only stayed for a few seconds before she held a hand out to him, "Take my hand, I'll teach out to dance..." He shook his head, but with a pout from the youngest Strauss he hesitantly reached out to her, "I'll spin you around, won't let you fall down."

She slowly spin him, quickly showing him the simple waltz steps, "Would you let me lead? You can step on _my_ feet?" He snorted at that, there was no way she could hold his wait and dance at the same time, "Give it a try, it'll be alright..."

He stared down into her eyes, using his soul-reading technique like every other time he'd been with her. She fascinated him, she was the one person she could never read, what was she thinking? Was her soul happy right now?

_The room's hush, hush and now's our moment. Take it in, feel it all and hold it, eyes on you, eyes on me..._

"We're doing this right." She told him, mistaking his stare for one of worry.

_Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love. __Spotlight's shining, it's all about us... __It's all, all, all... __About uh, uh, us... _And every heart in the room did melt, this was a feeling neither of them had ever felt, _but, it's all about us..._

_'__Suddenly I'm feeling brave, d__on't know what's got into me! __Why I feel this way...'_ Bixlow thought, suddenly voicing his question, "Can we dance, real slow? Can I hold you real close?" He whispered, Lisanna's face was dusted with a tinge of pink, her paces began to slow and soon they were in a corner just rocking back and forth.

They stayed like that for a while, her head resting on his chest, before making their way back to their table.

"Yeah, and just before the whole Edolas fiasco she cam up to me and literally yelled, 'So help me, I _will_ get that idiot 'man' to kiss me like the 'man' he is!' I laughed so hard!" Lisanna threw her head back as an eruption of giggle bubbled from her chest as Bixlow smiled, he'd made her laugh.

Bixlow's laughter died down as he stared in awe at her, her silver hair fell loosely down her neck and into her twinkling eyes, she'd let it grow out since she'd come back from Edolas. His heart skipped a beat, she was just so beautiful, her blue dress clung to her like a second skin and the color brought out the light in her eyes.

"Oh my Mavis! Did she really do that!?" She gasped for breath in a failed attempt to stop her pearls of laughter.

"Yeah… She did…" He breathed, staring open-mouthed at how wonderstruck he was by her. She glanced over to the two lovebirds they were spying on and gasped, frantically looking around for the couple. She eventually spotted them walking through the restaurant and towards the exit.

"Bixlow! We have to go! They're leaving!" He was yanked right from his stupa and made quick work of paying, thanking the waiter, grabbing their coats and dragging Lisanna out of the place.

Their love struck giggles filled the moonlit streets as they scurried after their pray, grinning as they tripped over the cobblestone floor and tumbled to the ground. They attempted to hush each other but their chuckles over took them and they sat, curled in each others arms. Once they'd calmed down, Lisanna looked up. She was lent up against Bixlow's chest and was sat in his lap. Bixlow gazed down at her.

It was the clicking of heels that alerted them that someone was coming, they shot up, looking everywhere for a place to hide. But it was futile, they had been spotted.

"Lisanna, Bixlow?" Ever's panicked voice floated towards them, _"Were they spying on us?"_

It was purely out of instinct, he told himself later that evening, but that was a blatant lie. He quickly shoved her against the wall, his glowing eyes staring straight into hers, and smashed his lips against hers. Her eyes widened, her jaw slacked and she made a small gasp of shock - which quickly turned to a lusty moan as her eye lids slid shut. He slipped his tongue into her mouth - completely forgetting about their horrified onlookers - but whatever it was he did with his tongue caused her to fall weak at the knees and whimper loudly.

They barely heard the vague threats Elfman threw at Bixlow, and hardly cared about Evergreen's howling laughter and lewd remarks to Lisanna.

_The room's hush hush and now's our moment, t__ake it in, feel it all and hold it. __Eyes on you, eyes on me, w__e're doing this right... _

_It's all about us..._

Her arms slid around his neck and his snaked around her waist. His hands roamed and she let out a throaty gasp, she felt him smirk against her lips and threaded her fingers through his hair.

At some point they had to pull back for air, and when they did she rested her head back against the brick wall he'd pushed her against. They panted breathlessly, his hands had left her body feeling burnt where he'd touched and where now planted solidly either side of her head. Her sapphire eyes gazed heavy-lidded up to his wide green ones. Instead of their usual bright glow they were now a dark lusty shade of emerald.

He took deep, ragged breaths, his chest heaved as he tried to calm down his pounding heart. He licked his lips, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Sorry…" He grunted huskily, "Didn't mean to loose control like that."

"No…" She murmured, reaching up one hand to trace around his face, "That was the most incredible and- and amazing kiss…"

He laughed hoarsely, and sighed, "I love you." He then froze, what the _hell_ had he just said!? _What first you kiss her and now you tell her you love her!? She likes someone else, dumbass!_ He furiously screamed inside of his head.

"Good." He looked questioningly at her, _What?_ "Because I love you." And with those words she threw herself back at him, he kissed him with all the passion and libido she had left running in adrenaline through her system.

As they danced through the streets, drunk on adrenaline and their own emotions, their laughs and sweet whispers filled the crisp evening air. They forgot about their mission as 'spies' as they stumbled blindly into Bixlow's empty apartment - thank _Mavis_ Mira had offered to take Bixlow's babies for the night.

They staggered past his stereo, and as her back was pushed up against it and her top pulled up and over her head, one of the dials on the sound-system was turned and their favorite and most-played song began to fill their ears.

_"You're my funny valentine, sweet comic valentine..."_

"Do you hear that love? They're playing our song..." Lisanna laughed against his lips; he suddenly went serious.

He pushed himself back slightly, "Do you think we're ready?"

"Oh, I'm really feeling it." Lisanna answered, trailing nips and kisses down his now exposed neck, mumbling against his skin; "Do you hear that love? Do you hear that love...?"

They ceased to remember Gray and Juvia's mysterious date as Lisanna was thrown carelessly onto his bed. And they seemed to be uncaring about the fact that Elfman had said he'd castrate Bixlow if he so much as laid a finger on his little sister as he trailed love bites down her neck.

They danced the night away, they were in their own spotlight. The lyrics of their song and their own voices melded to one.

_"__Stay little valentine, stay, each day is valentine's day..."_ The night wasn't serious, it was full of laughable, unphotographable... But it made sense, he was her _funny valentine..._

_**This is a feeling I've never felt**_

_**But it's all, it's all about us**_

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**A/N: I don't really know, I wrote this a while ago on tumblr and felt the need to change it. (It was crap, actually, that's why) I really think these songs fit these two, I can see Bixlow being her 'funny valentine'. **

**So the songs used are _not_ mine, they are: All about us, by He is We and My Funny Valentine by Ella Fitzgerald. Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

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